Moments With Mary is dedicated to improving the quality of life to those who have been touched by cancer or other life threatening illnesses.

Disclaimer: The entire contents of this website are based upon the opinions of Mary Johnson, unless otherwise noted. Individual articles are based upon the opinions of the respective author, who retains copyright as marked. The information on this website is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice. It is intended as a sharing of knowledge and information from the research and experience of Mary Johnson and her own personal experiences. Mary Johnson encourages you to make your own health care decisions based upon your research and in partnership with a qualified health care professional. None of the above is meant to diagnose, treat, prescribe or claim to cure any disease. Readers are always advised that they should consult with their own medical practitioners and medical professionals for the diagnoses, care, treatment or cure of any health condition.

August (2006)

1. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied "I'm not sure."  "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four."

2. A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green Army men in the cup. She said “Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up is the soldiers in your cup!

3. An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. “You’ve got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head.  His grandmother knelt down next to him "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"  The boy looked up, "Really?"   "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."

Today's Destination

The only thing we can be sure of accomplishing are the things we do today.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

There’s no skill in easy sailing when the skies are clear and blue.

There’s no joy in merely doing things that anyone can do.

But there is great satisfaction that is mighty sweet to take,

When you reach a destination that you said you couldn’t make.

AuthorUnknown

 

A Birthday to Remember

My 52 birthday is one I’ll never forget and neither will the family. Due to our heavy work schedules it was always hard to find a time when we could all go and be together. Today was different we would be together for the entire day, and that was a good birthday wish in itself. That morning as I fixed my hair and put on my favorite rose colored silk blouse, (oh, how I loved that blouse though I only wore it for special occasions.) I wondered what special memories I would have at the end of this day to write in my journal; little did I know that none of us would ever forget this birthday.

The family decided to take me to Springfield a larger town only 55 miles from where we lived to have a day filled with several special activities. We started off with a nice all you can eat breakfast at the Golden Coral restaurant. Of course we all ate too much, but we knew we wouldn’t be stopping for lunch so the big breakfast would last us most of the day. On our way to the next activity my mother and daughter decided we should all stop for a potty break, with all of our juice and coffee drinks at breakfast we needed a quick break. The three of us girls decided to go first. Then my husband would take his turn. Stopping at a Get and Go Store/ Gas Station on the next corner was the smartest move, since traffic was really starting to pick up. When we went into the store we had to wait since someone else was already in the ladies room. We waited for about 8 minutes, when we heard someone yelling and talking on the other side of the bathroom door. We thought that maybe it was a mother with some unruly children, but when the lady finally came out we were shocked to see she was by herself. She had her purse strap around her neck and her paper cup in her teeth; she looked so tried and wore out. We all smiled at her, but she wasn’t a bit friendly, all she said to us was, “Good luck.”

My mother and daughter decided to let me go in first, “it’s your birthday.” I opened the door and went into the one room bathroom, where everything looked very clean and normal I did my business and washed my hands, but when I went to open the bathroom door the knob wouldn’t open it just spun and clicked. Oh, now I knew why the lady was having a fit in the bathroom. There were no paper towels so I washed my hands again and decided to open the door with some toilet paper but that didn’t work. Then, I decided to use the bottom of my blouse to give the door knob a little help but silk doesn’t do real well on metal. I went a little farther up on my blouse to get a better grip when all of a sudden the door knob finally gave way it took my blouse with it, spinning my blouse right from my hands. My blouse caught on the spinning door handle and in a flash my pretty rose colored blouse was in shreds. I will never forget the look on my mother and daughters face when I finally opened the door. I grabbed my blouse and tried to quickly bring it back together so my chest was not exposed to the entire store. A store employee, a man behind the counter looked into his round circle mirror and his mouth flew wide open, his face turned bright red and he never turned back around. I didn’t know if I was going to laugh or cry. Mom and my daughter just stood there saying, “Oh no, what happened?” “Your favorite blouse, what are you going to do now.” I didn’t say anything, I just ran from the store twisting my blouse together, laughing and crying at the same time.

When I came out of the store my husband said, “What’s wrong honey?” “Why are you twisting your blouse up in a knot?” I let go of my blouse and stood in the parking lot with my bra showing. Tom had a shocked look on his face as he said, “Get in the car, what on earth happened in there?” I was upset but found myself laughing and crying at the same time. Tom trying to calm me as we both laughed together. Tom again said, “Don’t worry honey, we will go to the mall and get you another new blouse.” I told him, I was not going to any mall the way I was dressed. He smiled and said, “Well, we can’t go any where else with you dressed like this either” By then my mother and daughter were getting back in the car. Both were upset because they too had trouble getting out of the bathroom. I could tell they all felt bad for me. They knew that was my favorite blouse, the one I wore just for special occasions. “I then started laughing and told them not to worry. We can still have fun, just take me to a nice neighborhood and I will stop at a yard sale and surly I can find a blouse for me to wear for the rest of the day.”

Just four miles up the road we found a very nice big family yard sale. I took a deep breath, twisted my blouse together tightly and held it with one hand as I walked up to the yard sale. When all at once, a big Black Lab dog came from out of no where running right towards me. The dog acted like he knew me, he jumped up on my shoulders and as I was trying to get him down I let go of my blouse. When I turned around the lady who owned the dog came running up to me saying,” I am so sorry.” She started spanking the dog with a newspaper. I told her, “It’s okay, don’t spank the dog, he didn’t do anything wrong.” But the lady just kept apologizing to me. “I am so sorry, pick out anything.” “Here are some new blouses you can have any of them you want.” I explained to the lady that the dog didn’t do anything to my blouse. That my blouse was like this when I got out of the car, but she didn’t believe a word I told her. Finally, she pulled out three tops all new in my size. She said, “Here you pick one of these tops, you can have it and I don’t want to hear another word.” again I tried to pay her five dollars for the new top but she wouldn’t hear of it. I thanked her and went on my way.

Leaving the yard sale I told my husband to go to the end of the block it was a dead end road and there were no houses, I could change my blouse there. While I was changing my blouse my husband said, “Hurry honey,” I said, “Why.” Just as I was pulling the new top down over my head, I saw a man looking at me from a tree just in front of our car. I couldn’t believe it. The man was sitting in the tree with a chain saw, smiling at me. Well, I smiled and waved at him as we turned the car around and drove off. Oh, what a Birthday to remember! We missed the next activity but we had the time of our life laughing and sharing memories together. We could never plan a day like that again but it will be one we will never forget.

This story has a moral to it. I could have let these happenings ruin my Birthday, but instead all the mishaps made memories for both me and my family. However, I will never forget my 52 birthday. I learned that a woman can be a show girl by mistake at any age, even when wearing a breast form no less. The special blouse I do miss, but I used the buttons on another blouse and the material I had left over made me a wonderful small neck pillow.

Written By: Mary D. Johnson

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How many of these things did you already know?

Pearls melt in vinegar.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

All polar bears are left handed.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.

A duck’s quack doesn’t echo and no one knows why.

It is physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.

Typewriter is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first class.

These are some facts that I thought might be of interest to you or maybe something to share with your children.

A New Beginning

 Let’s talk about new beginnings after your last chemo treatment. I know it was hard for me to start with a new beginning but I also knew that it was time for me to take things into my own hands and make my life somewhat normal again. I wanted to start living life again, but I kept asking myself how? What was normal? I had trouble defining the word normal. I tried jumping back into my old life style but it was no longer possible or practical. Cancer changed me. I had to find my own way of building a new sense of "normal." I refused to let cancer define me, because I couldn’t go back and undo anything and I knew I was much more than my breast cancer. Here are a few things I tried and it seemed to help me find myself again maybe it can help you too.

Sometime the emotional effects of what we have just been through are more painful and can take longer to get over. There were times I struggled with my emotions, until I felt numb. I knew that it was very important to take care of my mental physical self, so I decided to do just that. I wanted no more pretending to be brave or holding my feelings inside.

I once read, The greatest way to heal, is to feel again.

From that day on when I was angry I stated that if and when I needed to cry, I would cry. Many times I think women put on their emotional armor to get through the battle of breast cancer, but once the initial treatment is over and we are more equipped to deal with other things, all the emotions you pushed aside to fight the cancer come rushing back. Moving forward takes time. Find someone who will listen to you when you need to talk. Be good to you. Take time to meditate, join a support group, take a yoga class, go shopping, or do whatever is going to make you feel good inside and out.

I am so glad I didn’t have to deal with lymphedema of the arm. I know that the condition is not life threatening, but it can last for an extended amount of time. My arm did swell from time to time and sometimes I felt numbness, and lots of discomfort but I was aware that this was a side effect that can begin during or after breast cancer treatment. My doctor explained in detail what I could do to help myself and a lot of it boiled down to common sense. Here is a list of do’s and do not’s that I wrote in my journal for reminders to myself after talking to my doctor. This was what I tried to follow and it seemed to help me.

Every relationship is tested by breast cancer. There is no doubt that it puts stress on each person in the relationship. I was trying to recover from the physical effects of breast cancer, and our relationship was trying to recover from the emotional effects of it as well. I found for me the best way to begin the healing process was to talk to my husband and maybe even more importantly was to listen and really hear what each of us were saying and feeling in our hearts. Resuming a healthy sex life wasn’t easy for me, but I tried to remember I was not alone. I knew there were many women who must have the same frustrations as me and the good news was that many of the problems I was experiencing would hopefully soon improve or go away. (I kept saying to myself, I need to be patient, I have been through a lot.)

I tried to be open and honest with my husband telling him that I didn’t need the added pressure of sex at this time. My husband respected my feelings and understood because he knew that I was having trouble accepting myself and dealing with my new body image. Until I could allow myself to accept the new me, things would not change for either of us. (Ladies believe me with time and faith all things are possible.)

By writing this article my prayer is that you too can relate and understand that new beginnings after breast cancer treatments takes time, and working at it is the only way to get through all of its many up’s and down’s. Be patient with yourself. Remember to heal, is to feel again. Until next time, take care.

Written By: Mary D. Johnson

Being diagnosed with breast cancer can be a traumatic experience that may be overwhelming at first. Getting the information you need is empowering yourself with knowledge of what is still yet to come.

Studies have shown that those with the greatest peace of mind are people who feel like they still have the greatest control over their own life. If you're about to undergo breast surgery, you may be feeling as if you are no longer in control, but the truth is you can regain some peace of mind by taking charge of the things that you can control. Try to anticipate and plan ahead for your needs, both before and after your upcoming surgery. These are some of the things that helped me through my breast surgery many years ago.

Before Breast Surgery. (Don’t be afraid to ask family and friends for help.)

After Breast Surgery. (These were some of the questions I asked my doctor after my surgery.)

In writing this article, I hope those of you facing your first breast surgery can see that you are not alone. The questions and inner thoughts you may have in your mind are important and should be answered by your physician.

History from the 1500's

 The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the1500’s: 

 1. Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. 

 2. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean  water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all, the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.

3. Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, it's raining cats and dogs. 

4. There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection.  That's how canopy beds came into existence. 

5. The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a thresh hold. 

6. In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.

7. Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon.  They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

8. Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

9. Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf; the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

10. Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

11. England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night  (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer. 

And that's the truth...Now, whoever said history was boring! ! 

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Chemotherapy

Although it has been 26 years since I had my treatments of chemotherapy one can never foget its symptoms or its affects that chemo places on your life. I took chemo for two long years, three weeks on the drug combinations and one week off. I keep a daily journal on how I felt and what I experienced along the way, and I am so glad I did. The journal helped me to remember some of the important things I needed to share with my doctors and at what point certain things in my life started to change.

Good records and important documented information during chemo is a plus not just for you, but for your family members and health care professionals. In this article I hope to highlight a few things that you too can relate or maybe have already experienced as well, during your chemotherapy treatments.

Fatigue is a common side effect of cancer and chemotheraphy. It can be one of the most debilitating side effects people experience. With fatigue caused by chemotherapy you may experience some of these feelings: weariness, weakness, lack of eneregy, decreased ability for physical and mental work, trouble thinking and concentrating and forgetfulness.

The fatigue a person with cancer feels is different from the fatigue of everyday life. It probably will not result in "tired muscles" or "sore muscles." It is just a lack of energy. Your body's energy is being focused on healing and your rest is a natural way of healing. This fatigue is unrelated to activity and may not be resolved with rest or sleep. Fatigue can be prolonged and affect your quality of life. I know because this happened to me.

Chemotherapy is sometimes the first choice for treating many cancers. It differs from surgery or radiation in that it is almost always used as a systemic treatment. This means the medicines travel throughout the whole body rather than being confined to one area such as the breast, lung, or colon. This is important because chemotherapy can reach cancer cells that may have spread to other parts of the body. It can also reach parts of the body that are healthy.

Chemo Can Affect Memory

Recent research has shown that chemotherapy can also affect the way your brain functions, many years after treatment. This occurs in a small number of patients and is often worse with larger doses of chemotherapy agents. Some of the brain’s activities that are affected are concentration, memory, comprehension (understanding), and reasoning.

The changes that have been found in patients are subtle, but the people who have problems notice the differences in their thinking. Patients who have had chemotherapy and have this cognitive impairment call this experience "chemo-brain" or "chemo-fog.” Researchers are not sure exactly why chemotherapy affects the brain in this way or exactly how much chemotherapy (or in what combinations) it takes to cause a problem.

Here are some helpful tips one can use during chemotherapy treatments.

Keep current contact information for your doctor, caregivers, nutritionist, and other members of your health care team as well as the people who are supporting you in other ways during your chemotherapy.

Keep track of medical and personal appointments in your calendar. Keep a daily journal.

Keep a progress chart. This is very important to document your side effects, including the date, time and frequency, and whether the side effects are minor or severe.

Keeping a list of questions to ask your health care team is your best source of information. To make sure you get the answers you deserve about your disease, your treatment, possible risks, and the best protection, it's important to find out as much as you can by reading, learning, and asking. When you have a question, write it down and save it for the next time you talk to you doctor.

Keep track of your treatment history as you go along. To get the most from your chemotherapy, you and your health care team must work together to determine the best medication, dose, and schedule for your specific condition. You may be taking multiple medications, and when combined with one or more other drugs, any medication can produce additional effects beyond those intended.

No one would call having cancer or undergoing chemotherapy a normal experience, but by proactively managing your treatment, including potential side effects, you can help ensure that your life stays as close to normal as possible. Don't forget: You are not alone you don’t have to cope with cancer all by yourself. Fighting cancer is a team effort that involves family, friends, and your health care team.

Until the next article take care, and don’t forget that there is lots of good information and support out there for you. When taking chemotherapy there is no need to walk alone.

Written By: Mary D. Johnson