November (2006)
A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was
reciting it all by herself without help from her mother. She said,
"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail.
AMEN"
Heartprints
Whatever our hands touch we leave fingerprints! On walls, books,furniture, dishes, doorknobs as we touch we leave our idenity. Oh please, where ever I go today help me leave heartprints of love, compassion, kindness and genuine concern. May my heart touch a neighbor, a runaway daughter, an anxious mother, or a dear friend. I shall go out today and leave heartprints, forever.
CAN YOU PROVE THIS IS YOURS
Dealing with rude insensitive people during the days, months, and years that follow your breast mastectomy can be devastating and mind bogging. Facing the everyday trails after an ordeal like this can sometime be heart wrenching. Learning to live with your new body and life style helps give us a backbone you may never know you had or at least that’s how it was for me. This story is true I hope you will be able to understand that all bad things usually do work out in the long run. Thanks, to the good people out there willing to stand up and help you.
It was a beautiful warm September fall day. Today however, I had to make a quick trip to the big city to exchange my leaky defective breast form. The breast form was a newer model filled with light weight refined oil. The two year warranty was half over when I discovered I had sprung a small leak around one of the seams. The day before at work I had all but ruined my clothing from the oil leaking down the one side of my body. Because of the mess yesterday I decided to take a clean meat tray and lay my leaky breast form on it and then placed it into a plastic baggie so that it would not make a mess in my car.
My daughter and her friend asked if they could go with me since it was such a long ride to the city and they wanted to go by the mall when I was done with my exchange. So off to the city the three of us went. When we arrived at the store where I bought the breast form, I noticed everything had been remodeled and things were moved around. For a replacement, I had to go through the entire store just to get to the department where they now carried these breast forms with a new line of mastectomy bras. I asked to see the department manager, as I pulled out my sales receipt and my cancelled check along with my damaged breast form. Just then a young man about the age of 26 came to the counter.” What can I do for you today, he asked. ” I felt a little embarrassed, explaining to him that the purchase I made a year ago was defective. He took it out of the baggie and held it up, he said, and “What is this thing?” I told him it was a breast form I had purchased from his store about a year ago. He laughed, and said “We don’t carry these things and can you prove this is really yours.” Dumb founded, my face turning bright red as I felt the heat go through my entire body. I took a deep breath and looked him in the eye and said, “I need to speak to someone who is really in charge of this department. He laughed at me again and said, “Gal, I think you’re just out of luck, unless you can prove this is yours.”
The lady standing behind him spoke up and said, “That was our product and we had lots of trouble with that breast form so we no longer carry that model.” He laughed again and said, “This check and receipt doesn’t mean anything, prove this is yours.” This time without thinking and being embarrassed for the last time, I told him to just drop his pants and prove that what he had hanging between his legs was truly his.” He stated, that he could do that if he wanted to because what he had was the real thing. Then he took my breast form and threw it in the garbage and said, “You’re out of luck lady.” I could not believe this was happening. The younger sales lady went to get several other people from the back room and they all tried to apologized for the younger man’s behavior but he told them to get to the back room and stay there he would take care of this matter himself.
My daughter, her friend, and I stood there like we had been slapped. I asked for the district mangers name he then suggested I get lost. Shocked over this entire outcome I made one last attempt to tell him I needed my cash back or a new breast form. He said, “This isn’t your day, what else can I do for you.” I asked for his name and asked that he please get the leaky breast form out of the garbage he just laughed and told me he had better things to do with his time. Surprised, hurt, embarrassed, and humiliated I couldn’t put into words what that young man had put me through. I knew in my mind and heart I would be taking this matter to the top of the company.
On my way home I was quite. Thinking to myself who would ever believe what that young man had done and why would any good CEO put someone like him in a position of that kind. I didn’t know what my husband would do or think if or when I told him what had taken place. I said a prayer to God that this young man wouldn’t hurt or discredit another woman with the same problem. I choose not to tell my husband anything about the out come on this situation for I knew he would not take to it kindly. My daughter and her friend said, “That man sure was rude, I bet his mother had trouble with him when he was a young boy. He needs to learn some manners.” “We don’t think he should be allowed to treat you that way, he was wrong.”
On the following Monday at 2:30 P.M. at my work I received a call from the CEO and the president of the store where I had been the Saturday before. Both men gave me their deepest apologize and assured me the young man no longer worked for their company and would never do so again. They both stated that I was wrongly done and that the company would be sending me out a brand new top of the line breast form and a coupon for two free bras. They stated that all shipping and handling would be taken care of and asked if they could do anything else for me. I told them thanks for making this matter right with me. I also told them the ladies were very nice and tried to help but the young man belittled them too. The president stated that it was the ladies in the department that all got together and called him and shared the entire story about what took place on that Saturday.
Thank God, for some honest caring people doing the right thing. If what happened to me on that Saturday had happened to me the first year of my breast care recovery I might have been mentally disturbed for a long time to come. However, as time passes we grow and get stronger. We don’t let people get the best of us. We know what is right and we demand others to treat us the way they should. Life itself isn’t always easy but trying to deal with people who don’t care can be more than we can stand sometimes. I have found that usually when someone treats others so badly it is because they can’t handle the simple everyday problems themselves, and by hurting others they get their high. Saying a prayer for insensitive people is one of the very best things you can do. Standing up for what you believe in and knowing what is right, gives you more strength to fight the battles that may still lay ahead of you in your life.
Personal Experiences
FEAR
The word fear means to be afraid or frightened. It is a strong emotion often caused by expectation or awareness of danger. Sometimes, what we put off or look over because of fear, ends up costing us so much more. I know because this happen to me. When a person hears he or she has cancer fear can take over again, and then it becomes hard to deal with the problems at hand.
In early December of 1980, I found a small lump in my right breast. I told my husband, and he insisted that I see the doctor at once. The next day I made an appointment with a local doctor, but after his exam he reassured me that there was nothing to worry about. He thought the lump might be connected with an estrogen or a hormonal change. He told me not to worry, but watch the lump for a week or so, should it change in size call and let him know. Well the lump did change in six days it went from the size of a small pea to the size of a large orange. I called the doctor back to tell him what was happening, but he told me to wait until I had my next menstrual cycle, and then check the lump. “Don’t worry.” I asked why the lump had grown so fast, the doctor told me he thought maybe I was watching it too much and maybe I just thought it was larger. I knew it was now time to get another opinion.
On December 20 1980 , I called and made an appointment with a doctor in a city about 55 miles away. After his exam, he told me, “You must check into the hospital for a biopsy.” I hated to go to the hospital at Christmas time. My mother was with me that day. She strongly suggested that I follow the doctor’s orders. On December 21, 1980 I went for a breast biopsy. When I woke, there sitting by my side was my husband and eight year old daughter. My little girl said, “Mommy, are you awake?” I said, “Yes, are you being a good girl?” “Guess what, Mom? You have cancer! ” The room was silent. Being only eight years old and not having heard the word cancer before, she thought it was something very common and nothing to fear; since the doctor had talked so calmly to her father just moments earlier. I remember looking at Tom my husband, and said, “Is this true?” Tom nodded his head and said, “Yes.”
The following day I was to be taken back into surgery and was to have a radical mastectomy. My fears and emotions mounted. How do I explain to my young daughter and my family what I couldn’t and didn’t understand myself? I felt a deep shock; my body became numb, I was afraid to breathe. Tears streamed down my face, I felt cold and helpless. I never knew anyone who had cancer but I had seen several movies where people died from the disease. I had lots of questions. “How long do I have?” “How bad is it?” “Will the doctor be able to get it all?” “What’s next?” But all these questions had to wait until I had my next surgery. I wanted to be alone. The room was cool a chill kept coming over me. I asked my husband and daughter to leave; I wanted to be by myself, to think things over. Tom hated to leave. I could see the pain and fear in his eyes. Tom kept squeezing my hand and saying “Honey, I love you.” I didn’t want anyone near me. I had to handle this new word and illness by myself for just a little while. Cancer is a blow to the patient as well as to the family. In my mind and heart I knew how I handed my cancer would determine how we as a family would share our feelings with each other, and handle my new illness.
After my radical mastectomy surgery, the doctor sat on the edge of my bed and tells me what I need to know. He answers most of my many questions the best he could and tells me I must take some very strong drugs known as chemotherapy, for a year or maybe two. The doctor explains that the cancer was in the advanced stage and that my right arm may never be the same. The doctor apologizes that he had to take so much tissue. He explains that, “Breast reconstruction surgery was out of the question for me since he had to go so deep in my chest wall, and removed extra tissue from my collar bone and upper arm in order to get most of the cancer. The doctor tells me that the cancer was also found in my lymph nodes. I was told that within the next 2 weeks I must visit an Oncology Hematology doctor and get started immediately with the chemotherapy. I asked the doctor how long I had. He told me it was bad maybe six months to a year give or take. He suggested I get my affairs in order, but if I needed anything or if he could be of any further assistance to give him a call.
That evening, as I lay in the bed all alone with the door shut. I asked, God for strength as I made these four wishes.
1. Show me the light when I see darkness.
2. Let me walk beside you when fear enters my soul.
3. Give me hope and understanding when I feel depressed.
4. Help me feel love and strength when I feel I cannot go on.
The room became warm for the first time and I felt that close secure feeling again. Remember fear only takes over when we allow it. Have faith, stand brave, strong, and don’t give into the emotion, known as fear. ( Written By Mary D. Johnson )
Live A Life That Matters
Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else. Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.
So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived, at the end. It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success, but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence, but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.
What will matter are not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters. Life is a gift to share with others.
Remember some of these comments from the 50’s?
"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20"
"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a used one."
"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."
"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"
"If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."
"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."
"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."
"I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn' in 'Gone With The Wind,' it seems every new movie has either "hell" or "damn" in it.
"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."
"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president."
"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."
"It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."
"It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."
"Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat."
"I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business."
"Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress."
"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on."
"There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel."
"No one can afford to be sick any more; $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood."
"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it."
Sweet Potatoes or Yams
Do you know the difference between a Sweet potato and a Yam? Why are they different? People use these terms interchangeably both in conversation and in cooking, but they are really two different vegetables.
The Sweet Potatoes (Ipomoea batatas) are the root of a vine in the morning glory family and a native to the New World tropics. Its history dates back to 750 B.C. in Peruvian records. Columbus brought the sweet potato to the New World from the island of Saint Thomas. The Taino word for them was batatas which eventually became patata in Spanish, patae in French, and potato in English. At that time, potato referred to the sweet potato, and not the generic white potato as it does in English today. In fact, the white potato did not arrive in the northern regions from South America until the late 17th century, more than a hundred years later. Popular in the American South, these yellow or orange tubers are elongated with ends that taper to a point and are of two dominant types. The paler-skinned sweet potato has a thin, light yellow skin with pale yellow flesh which is not sweet and has a dry, crumbly texture similar to a white baking potato. The darker-skinned variety (which is most often called "yam" in error) has a thicker, dark orange skin with a vivid orange, sweet flesh with a moist texture. Current popular varieties include Goldrush, Georgia Red, New Jersey, and Velvet. When purchasing or selecting sweet potato tubers look for tight, unwrinkled skins with no blemishes or bruises. The prime season is from October to January but they are available sporadically throughout the year. Sweet potatoes generally do not store well, except under ideal conditions, and bruised ones rapidly deteriorate. Unfortunately, when sweet potatoes begin to go bad, you cannot just cut away the bad part, since the damage will be reflected in the flavor of the entire potato. In a dry, dark, cool (55 degrees F.) place, they can last up to three to four weeks.
The Yam is closely related to lilies and grasses. Native to Africa and Asia , yams vary in size from that of a small potato to a record 130 pounds (as of 1999). There are over 600 varieties of yams and 95% of these crops are grown in Africa . Compared to sweet potatoes, yams are starchier and drier. A true yam is the tuber of a tropical vine and is not even distantly related to the sweet potato. Yams are generally sweeter than the sweet potato; this tuber can grow over seven feet in length. The word yam comes from African words njam, nyami, or djambi, meaning "to eat," was first recorded in America in 1676. The yam tuber has a brown or black skin which resembles the bark of a tree and off-white, purple or red flesh, depending on the variety. They are grown in tropical climates, primarily in South America, Africa, and the Caribbean. Yams contain more natural sugar than sweet potatoes and have much higher moisture content. Yams, if you find them, will most likely be sold in chunks sealed in plastic wrap, since they grow up to 7 feet in length and weigh up to 150 pounds. As with sweet potatoes, choose yams with unblemished, tight, unwrinkled skins and firm flesh. Store in a cool, dark, dry area for up to two weeks, and do not refrigerate. Although you may find canned vegetables labeled as yams, they are most likely not true yams. However, true yams can generally be used in any sweet potato recipe. Yams, unlike sweet potatoes, are toxic if eaten raw, yet perfectly safe when cooked. Cooked yams can be kept refrigerated for 2-3 days. Cooked yams can be frozen using the same method as sweet potatoes.
Health benefits: Sweet potatoes are relatively low in calories and have no fat. They are rich in beta-carotene, having five times the recommended daily allowance of Vitamin A in one sweet potato, as well as loaded with potassium. These nutrients help to protect against heart attack and stroke. The potassium helps maintain fluid and electrolyte balance in the body cells, as well as normal heart function and blood pressure. Wild Mexican "yams" which are related to the sweet potato, seem to have anti-weight-gain, anti-cancer, and anti-aging properties, according to Dr. Earl Mindell. True yams do not contain as much Vitamin A and C as sweet potatoes. This year try some sweet potatoes or yams. Can you tell the difference in the taste and the flavor of your recipes? See you next month, with more Moments with Mary.
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